The Intersection of Life and Improv
I started a podcast! I’ll be talking with fellow improvisers about how they’ve used improv in their lives. Improv has changed my life so dramatically, and I’m interested in hearing and sharing stories from other people who might have also used improv in their personal or professional lives.
The first 2 episodes are up! Please check it out and let me know what you think. Stay tuned for more episodes!
I’m not a very outgoing person. I typically wait until people introduce themselves, or recognize that I’m there before speaking to them. It’s not that I don’t enjoy meeting and talking with people, but I feel as if I’m burdening them.
It’s also unnerving and vulnerable for me to put myself out there and risk rejection. I fill my head with “what if this person doesn’t want to meet me?”, “Am I significant enough to be talking with this person?”, “Are they going to respond positively to what I have to say?”, “Do they even want to talk about what I have to say?”
Instead, I just wait to see if they indicate that they want to talk.
Recently, I had an improv audition and ended up not being selected. I was bummed, so I sought out some notes on how I could improve. My feedback from my performance was that I had vague scene initiations. I didn’t start the scene with a clear specific line that would give the other person a sense of who or where we are.
The thing is, by starting with a vague initiation, I’m putting the pressure on the other person to figure out what I’m talking about, how I feel, and who we are to each other. That’s a lot. Especially if I’m not used to improvising with them.
I realized the same thing applies when meeting or speaking with people.
My shyness and lack of confidence puts pressure on the other person to say something or stand there in awkward silence. Being a good scene partner and conversationalist means making the other person feel at ease and comfortable.
So why not do something to take the pressure off the other person? Give that other person a chance to feel relaxed. Choose to begin with something specific.
“Each person’s life is lived as a series of conversations.” – Deborah Tannen
Sometimes it doesn’t even matter what we begin talking about since conversations change and evolve based on the interests of the people involved. We just need to start.
Deciding to begin a conversation for me is a difficult hurdle to get over. Knowing that I am helping the other person out by initiating, allows me to focus on that benefit instead of all of the negative self-talk. What if the other person also deals with social anxiety or is shy? Imagine how they might feel if you started talking with them.
Yes, I was disappointed I wasn’t selected after my audition, but I learned something. I realize that I don’t start conversations. Even though I consider myself to be a shy person, knowing that I can take the strain off of the other person can push me to introduce myself or strike up a conversation. I only need to make the choice to begin.
I wanted this first post to be a well-written, interesting, and compelling work of art…but it’s not.
I had several ideas that I wanted to start with, some of them are semi-developed.
I thought, “soon, one of these ideas will be finished and I’ll finally hit the publish button. I just need some more time staring at one of these half formed articles and then I’ll magically have the insight to craft something perfect.”
…but the whole time I was ignoring a basic principle of improv.
Starting.
In improv, sometimes you have no idea how to initiate a scene but you just take a step out and start. Start anything. Moving, motioning, speaking. Literally anything. I realized that I wasn’t following this idea with this site. The truth is, sometimes it takes starting to gain a little momentum and only then does the scene become interesting.
What was I waiting for? Greatness. I was waiting to publish something amazing but I was worried that I would be starting this site off on the wrong foot. I was scared that whatever I wrote wouldn’t be good enough. Do I expect this to be the best written piece of work ever to appear online? Can I articulate exactly what I am thinking? What if I fail?
“Perfect is the enemy of the good.”
In improv, it’s just one scene. Just start again. Try, learn something, and just start over.
I realized that I will get better over time, but only if I try. I started taking m own advice on living life through the principles of improv.
“Excellence is not a singular act.”
Sometimes getting started is the hardest part. Trust yourself. Take that step out on to the stage.
Just Start.
What do you want to start today?