I used to get upset, jealous, and feel left out when others would accomplish thing or get opportunities that I wanted. I didn’t have an abundance mindset. The more it seemed like friends were moving toward something great in life, the more it seemed like I was standing still. As more and more great things happened to people around me, the more I sank into a feeling of despair and self-pity.
This is a potentially dangerous mindset to have. It’s easy to stay in that hole and become jaded. It’s easy to get in the “poor me” mindset and, it gets harder and harder to change that mindset once you are there.
I think we all want recognition, money, and opportunities. It’s our nature to want what everyone has, to be included, and to want the best. I’ve struggled with jealousy, feeling left out, asking “why me or why not me”. Seeing what happens when others get money, new shiny objects, and especially opportunities, makes you think: “Where’s mine?”, “Where’s my recognition?”
“Life in abundance comes only through great love.” – Elbert Hubbard
Having an mindset of abundance can remove jealousy. When I started changing my mindset to the idea that there is always enough, my whole perspective on life changed.
Life is not a zero sum game. Meaning that if one person wins, another person loses. There is enough for all, but you have to put in time and work to getting those things and accept that the path for everyone is different.
“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.” – Wayne Dyer
It seems that many people get caught up in the idea that if person A does well, then person B cannot.
Imagine this: Steve and Mark are friends. Steve get/achieves something. Mark is jealous of Steve. Mark can either wallow in self pity because he doesn’t have what Steve has, or Mark can be grateful and happy for Steve’s hard work because he cares about Steve as a friend.
We make the mistake of reflecting back to ourselves when we need to turn focus to the other person. Their achievement is not a reflection on us! It’s a reflection on how hard they worked! If anything we should be saying to ourselves “Wow, they worked hard for that achievement. I’m proud of them. If I work hard too maybe something great will happen for me.”
Celebrate others’ successes.
Think about the following questions:
- What type of person would you rather spend time with: someone who gets upset (even negates/belittles) at another’s success, or someone who gets excited for them?
- How would you want people to react when you share good news with them?
- Do you think people who reach success are likely to share their strategies with someone who isn’t appreciative?
Often we get so caught up on “when am I going to get mine?” that we miss being happy for others.
In improv we use this idea of abundance mindset to know that no matter what, there is always something else that can happen in a scene. We can always explore a new environment or new perspective. This helps us act without fear of what might happen. There is always more we can create and discover about the people or relationship in the scene. We have the ability to build or explore new things. Improv will extend as far as your imagination can.
Once I understood the abundance mindset, I felt less jealous, and less set on “getting mine”. I was free to set my mind to pursuing the things I wanted to. I am more relaxed, focused, and optimistic. When I started operating from this type of mindset, I become less focused on what others get and focused on what I need to do.
“You can be the moon and still be jealous of the stars.” – Gary Allan
When have you felt left out?